Impatience

I've been called a lot of things. Patient is not typically one of them. Once I decide I want to do something, I throw myself in full force. I am all about COMMITMENT to whatever cause is upcoming. For instance, the FIRST day we went to look at houses to buy, I fell in love with one and we put an offer in right away. I don't regret it one bit. My passionate commitment to things has almost always turned out well.

Of course trying to conceive was no different. Though we just decided to actively TTC in January, I'm already deeply invested. You name it, I've read it/prepped for it/tried it, and this is only our first official cycle. OPKs, BBT, green tea, CM, CP .... all of it. I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and downloaded Fertility Friend and studied up everywhere I could.

So now I am in this odd space. I'm waiting. Just waiting. I don't wait well. Ever. I tracked, I ovulated, I had good timing with A, and it was a fun month! And now I wait. It's typically considered to be pretty pointless to take a pregnancy test before 10 days past ovulation. I started on day 8. And again today . . . twice. Shockingly all of these were negative. They may stay that way, they may turn positive. It's too early to say.

I don't know why I can't just wait until I'm late to test, but I don't seem to be able to. I just want to know as soon as humanly possibly if I have a little bean peanut babeh whatever we decide to call it in my tummy. If we're not pregnant this cycle, that's okay. I won't be devastated. I just need to know.

Impatient should have been my middle name.