35-39 Weeks

**Bad mom alert. This post took months in the making. Things at the time were so hectic and stressful that this blog fell by the wayside! So I'm finally catching up!**



The last four weeks of my pregnancy took me from this.....

to this...

The final weeks were psychologically brutal. I tried everything I could to get my stubborn Henry to flip into the proper position. But by 36 weeks, he was NOT budging from his breech position that he seemingly had been in since conception. So after my 36 week appointment and ultrasound, it was decided that Henry would be a c-section baby. It wasn't what I wanted, but I adjusted to the idea and started making arrangements. There was something to be said for having a date and time for baby's arrival. Henry would be here on Monday, February 16th at 39 weeks and 2 days at 4pm! I told my work. I told my long term sub. I started nesting like a madwoman to get things done. I re-packed my go-bag with more c-section friendly things. 

And then at my 37 week appointment, my doctor said, "he may have flipped. This could be his head."

WHAT?

I sobbed in her office. I had wanted him to flip for so long, and he DIDN'T, and I had made peace with the c-section. Adding this now unknown element was just too much. She scheduled another ultrasound for me the next week, but I was left in limbo. WAS Henry in position to come on his own? Or was he instead just freaking out his mother who was already getting anxious waiting for him to show up?

The ultrasound at 38 weeks took forever to come. Of course in that time my c-section date (which was not cancelled in case I still needed it) moved from Monday afternoon to Thursday morning. And then Thursday afternoon. Because why make things simple? 

Finally on Thursday February 12th I had my final ultrasound. 

My boy was there, chubby cheeked and button nosed, and still frank breech with his feet snuggled up by his face. I walked into my doctor's office and she said, "well . . . do you want to have a baby on Monday?" An opening in her schedule had freed up, and so we were rescheduled YET AGAIN for President's Day, at 9:30am. We were just three short days away from meeting our little man.

It was a roller coaster, those few weeks. I cried more during that time than I think I cried any other time in my pregnancy. But knowing, finally, when it would come to an end really made me savor those last days. Yes, I was in horrible hip pain, was sleeping poorly, and was nervous. But I paid extra special attention to the kicking that you could see if you watched my belly. I rested in his nursery more, thinking about holding him in there soon. I wore my favorite maternity clothes one last time.

And I waited for the scariest, most exciting day of my whole life.